Archive for May, 2010

Self-Critical Poem

May 31, 2010

There’s a hole in the sky
Through which mice can glide about,
And sometimes even fly.
(Provided that they’re not too stout)

But occasionally when I’m mucking around
In the company’s lost and found,
The mice come flying by my ear
And give me a rather rude stare.

Now, I for one, am all for their right to fly-
For even an ugly crow may take to the sky
But why must they annoy me like this,
By filling my coffee mugs with their piss?

Oi, you just ruined the last stanzas
By changing the rhyme schemes.
It was a simple ABAB, by the letter
But you always claim to know better.
You switched to the AABB
But that isn’t every single reader’s cup of tea.
And now you’ve made this stanza too long
Please stop this wretched, miserable song!

Kill Boll

May 7, 2010

List of things to do in Germany (in decreasing order of probability of said thing being done):

1. Eat lots of Bratwurst.
2. Drink lots of beer.
3. Go to the statue of Leibniz at Hanover and shout, “Ha! Newton was right.”
4. Watch the Berlin cabaret.
5. Visit Check point Charlie .
6. Drive on the no-speed-limit autobahn.
7. Do a lap of the Nurburgring.
8. Shoot Uwe Boll between his fat, dead little eyes.