Archive for September, 2009

Quote Unquote

September 5, 2009

Note: The quotes below are all made up, most of them within the few minutes preceding the deadline for the Lit-Soc Creative Writing event. For some reason, it was decided by most of the hostel junta that we will go with Barbie dolls as the theme of our entry (keeping in mind their 50th anniversary), with the primary purpose of poking fun at them.

Having picked a theme that I have no knowledge of, everybody else went off to sleep, leaving me with four A4 sheets to fill in four hours. Somehow we met the deadline, with six of the seven articles having been put together at the last minute. Needless to mention, we did not score any points. It was also the very first time in my life that I disliked having to write, and is something I never want to do again.

However, I quite enjoyed making up these quotes. Some of them were funny, even. I doubt if the judges got the joke, though.

“I’m a Barbie Girl, in my Barbie world.”
– Aquaman

“If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?”
– A frustrated parent, on Barbie

“Math is Hard.”
– Professor Barbie, during a lecture on the Mohs scale

“I was JEE rank 1035. Will you marry me?”
– Average IITian, on seeing Barbie

“I am less gay than him.”
– Ken, on seeing aforementioned IITian

“Barbie dolls! When I was little, I used to secretly play with them when I was all alone in my room… no, wait, that sounded perverted.”
– A male of questionable sexuality

“I um… actually got a bit confused since they both look the same. I planned on casting Indian Barbie in my next film, not that Slumdog girl.”
– Woody Allen

“Barbie can divide by size zero.”
Chuck Norris, on Facts About Barbie
PS: That last one is actually pretty good. Whaddya know, I fed my blog something slightly substantial.