A Devilish Dictionary

The following is a result of my copying Amrose Bierce’s idea of writing a dictionary which presents a sarcastic but somewhat true meaning of all the words in it. He called it the Devil’s Dictionary. For lack of a better name, I call mine something very similar. Its vocabulary shall, however, be IITM- centric, but may deviate into whatever I’d like to put in here.

For the sin of blatantly copying him, I apologise heavily to Ambrose Bierce’s grave (within which he would, no doubt, be turning faster than a microlathe.)

The dictionary will be updated as and when I feel jobless.

THE DICTIONARY

Arbit: The default answer to every question you don’t want to answer.

Chennai: A city that suffers from the combined disorders of extreme heat, an erratic rain pattern, and overly active auto rickshaw drivers.

Cup: A mysterious phenomenon. Ordinarily a mundane object, it garners worldwide attention when combined with girls in the ratio 1:2.

Gen: see arbit.

God: A mysterious entity, the birthdays/ triumphs/ wedding anniversaries of whose various manifestations result in a day off from college.

Hygeine: A subject Ramadoss wants to make compulsory in schools, ignoring the greater need for it at IITM.

iPot: Steve Jobs’ affectionate nickname for his commode.

Kolkata: A giant mass of yellow taxis, hand pulled rickshaws, subway trains, trams, horse carriages and auto rickshaws, all of which smell like fish.

RG- ing: An act equivalent to Judas’ act of betraying Jesus Christ, which resulted in the latter suffering a slow and tortorous, horrifying death.

Roommate: This word originated because of a spelling error. The ‘R’ is actually a ‘D’.

Stud: Opinion is divided over the exact definition, but the most widely accepted one is ‘a person whose blog has an average of over 10 comments per article’.